


A kiss from a rose on the grey

by hllfire



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Assassin Erik Lehnsherr, Canon Disabled Character, Cherik Big Bang, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Fluff, Guns, Happy Ending, M/M, Professor Charles Xavier, Sexual Content, Smut, or Enemies to Friends to Lovers to Enemies to Lovers if I'm being honest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:27:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26649802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hllfire/pseuds/hllfire
Summary: Erik is a cold blooded assassin, proud of the part he plays and of the fact he's the best at his job. There was no job he had failed to do over the five years he had started as a hitman, there was never a hint of hesitation while he killed his targets, until one special order. When Kurt Marko hires Erik to kill Charles Xavier, he thinks nothing of it, taking it as just another job to be done. That is, until he undoubtedly falls for his target.*Now with art!*
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Comments: 18
Kudos: 149
Collections: 2020 Cherik Bang





	A kiss from a rose on the grey

**Author's Note:**

> I still can't believe I managed to finish this fic in time for the posting date. It's longer than I expected it to be and I'm sorry if there are any mistakes here and there because editing 16k words is hard sometimes lol  
> Hope you guys enjoy this ❤️
> 
> Link to the artist's post for the art that you'll see during the fic 💕: [xx](https://unstable-river.tumblr.com/post/632259780273225728/a-kiss-from-a-rose-on-the-grey-for-the-cherik)

**FIRST STEP: OBSERVATION**

It was a warm spring day in Oxford, the entire body of students and professors from the university seemed to be out and about that day, but Erik's eyes were solely focused on one person in particular. Professor Xavier of the genetics course was moving on his wheelchair through the dirt path in the middle of the green grass of the campus alongside another man, a PhD student named Hank McCoy that the young Professor was tutoring for what Erik managed to gather. Erik had been watching the man for a week now, and McCoy seemed to be not just Professor Xavier's student but his friend as well, considering the amount of time they'd spend together. Maybe one of Xavier's only friends for what Erik had seen that past week. 

Erik wasn't trying to hide at that moment, even if his first instinct was to get behind a tree and keep himself in the shadows, which was fairly hard to do when he was out in broad daylight, but he had the advantage to look just average enough as he walked through the university campus; just average enough for people to not notice how his eyes never left the Professor, or that, when Xavier stopped, he stopped too, keeping his distance from the man in order to just watch from afar for now. He would make his move pretty soon, but not yet. He wanted to get as much information as possible first. Xavier was one of the _special targets,_ after all.

Erik had done some _different_ works in his time working as a hitman, it wasn't the first time he had gotten a special work, probably wouldn't be the last, and, since everytime he got an offer like that it involved more money than he would've gotten in the first place, he really didn't complain. But that work in special made Erik curious, mostly because it involved getting close to his target, which was why Erik was being so careful in gathering as much information on Xavier as possible.

He had gotten the order late at night, the message attached to the order catching his eyes as he sipped his black coffee in the comfort of his living room. The order read:

_The man I want dead is named Charles Xavier. He's a Genetics Professor at Oxford University, there is information about him on the university's website. As much as it is an unusual request, I will pay more for your services if the person who does the job get close to him first and make him think they're his friend before finishing the job on a specific date, July 13th._

The date made Erik curious about the job, about how specific the order was, but he noticed something right away about the person hiring him: they didn't do a good job hiding their IP. Erik had looked up the Professor first, seeing a picture of the man he needed to kill and trying to understand why that man was wanted dead just by seeing the small smile on the Professor's lips and looking at his eyes on the picture. Erik didn't need to know the reasons why his clients wanted to kill someone, but he liked to imagine and figure out by himself — most of the time to find a good reason to do it. Thanks to Xavier's fame, it wasn't hard to find out all sorts of stuff about the man, and right in his Wikipedia page Erik found out something interesting: Charles _Francis_ Xavier's birthday was on July 13th. His client wanted the target dead on the day of his birth. _Cruel,_ Erik had thought, even if there was no real emotion there.

After the initial research, Erik focused on the fact that the client didn't hide their IP before making the order, and soon he had his phone on his hand to text Azazel. Erik _also_ didn't need to know who hired him, but whenever they made the mistake of allowing him an easy way to track who it was, he could hardly resist temptation. Azazel was good at that; at tracking people by their IPs — Erik was too lazy to do it sometimes — and Azazel was always one to be curious about Erik's clients as well. Erik had already finished his coffee when he received another text from the other man, eyebrows raising when he noticed the first text saying _'oh, Lehnsherr, this one is good',_ followed by the information Erik wanted.

Apparently his client was no one less than Kurt Marko, the big name of the pharmaceutical industry at the moment that appeared on the news with his _'incredible research that set new grounds for modern medicine'_ more than often. That only made Erik's interest spike up even more, and now he had been sure Marko had more than enough money to pay Erik for the special order. Still, Erik was curious about why Kurt Marko wanted a genetics professor dead, and he needed to gather more personal information about the man to fulfill the order and become Xavier's 'friend' before finishing the job, which led Erik there, to the Oxford grounds, accompanying the Professor from a safe distance as he studied his habits and the best way to get to the man.

What he knew so far was that Xavier lived on the ground floor of a small duplex in Oxford so he was close to the university grounds at all times, the top floor of the house seemed vacant, since Erik never saw the lights on or people entering or leaving the top floor of the house in the hours he tended to watch Xavier. The Professor always brought a cup of tea with him in the mornings were he had to give classes and had lunch at a small restaurant near the campus, but had his dinner at home alone. His wardrobe was apparently mostly cardigans, waistcoats and button up shirts, giving him the looks of an old man even if he was still in his thirties and had a very young face. The only thing different in Xavier's wardrobe that Erik had noticed that week was a lilac sweater that Xavier used on a colder day.

Another thing he knew as well from the week of observing was that Xavier apparently had no friends other than the weird student he was still talking to and a blonde girl that had gone to his house one day carrying groceries before leaving. If Erik hadn't seen her hug and kiss the Professor on the cheek on the way out, he would've thought she was just a Postmate or something like that. 

That day was the last day of observation, Erik would start his plan to get close to the Professor soon and he gave the man one last look before walking away. He wasn't one for making friends, his job wouldn't allow him to have many acquaintances. If he was honest, his only friend was Azazel, whom he worked with most of the time. Emma wasn't exactly a friend, she was a means to an end since she had connections with powerful people that made his job easier whenever someone really important became one of his targets, and as much as they tolerated each other, they never really talked much. With that order, Erik was going to make a friend — if that could be called a friendship when the end goal was for him to kill said friend. At least he wouldn't have to worry for too long about said friend. A disposable friend, perhaps, that he would enjoy for the rest of the month of May and June, until July came.

 _Thrilling,_ he thought to himself as he walked towards his car, parked on a sidewalk nearby, so he could make his way back to his flat in London and confirm that he had everything he needed for his plan to work.

**SECOND STEP: CONTACT**

The sun shone brightly in Oxford on that Friday afternoon, the warm breeze of the coming summer thanks to the end of May approaching ruffling Erik's hair slightly as he walked down the street with his hands in his pockets. He didn't put much thought into his appearance that day, he wanted to look casual enough when he first met Xavier, so all he was wearing was a loose white t-shirt and jeans, with sunglasses to protect his eyes from the sunlight. He never really liked sunny days, but he couldn't deny that the sky was blue as it had never been and it was beautiful enough to let himself wonder about it as he walked to the small restaurant near the Oxford University campus.

His lips curved into a smile when he noticed that all the tables on the small establishment were occupied, including one near the street where the young Professor was sitting at, eyes glued to his phone while he probably waited for his food to arrive. Good, Erik was counting on the restaurant being busy as he noticed it always was on the last Friday he had been there, observing the Professor, because it was what he needed for his plan to work.

He stopped near Xavier's table, looking around with his best _'I'm looking for a vacant place'_ face as he noticed the man raise his eyes slightly to look at Erik from under his lashes. Xavier looked around as well, as if he was trying to look for an empty table for Erik too, always a gentleman, and — before Erik could even ask to sit with the Professor on his table — he heard the man's voice calling for him.

"Excuse me?" he had a sympathetic tone to his voice behind the posh accent, lips curving up into an almost shy smile as he looked up at Erik when they looked at each other, and Erik raised his eyebrows. He didn't expect Xavier to be the one to make contact _first._ "Are you looking for a place to sit?" 

"Yes, but apparently it's too crowded…" Erik sometimes patted himself on the back at how good of a liar he could be sometimes, his voice there sounding utterly disappointed for the lack of tables to sit when in reality it was all that he wanted. "What a shame. I wanted to try the food here before I went back to London."

"Well, I don't mind sharing the table if you don't."

Erik smiled, which to the Professor looked like gratitude but it was mostly because his plan to get close to the man was working better than expected. He received a smile back at that, Xavier's hand waving at the lone chair across from him, and Erik sat down gingerly, quickly stretching his hand across the table for the other man to shake.

"Erik Lehnsherr." he offered, seeing the Professor smile a little wider as he shook his hand.

"Charles Xavier."

"That's very nice of you, mr. Xavier. To share your table like this with a stranger."

"Oh, please, just Charles is alright." he chuckled, pulling his hand back as Erik did the same. "And it's no problem at all. I usually have lunch alone so company is good for a change."

Erik knew that, knew that Xavier — or Charles, as he asked to be called — always had lunch alone at that small restaurant, that his days seemed pretty lonely, which only made the hitman wonder even more about why Kurt Marko of all people wanted that lonely man dead, how they were connected, and why he wanted Erik to pretend to be that man's friend before inevitably killing him. Erik shouldn't even be wondering about that stuff, about the small details that turned Charles Xavier into a target, but he couldn't help himself but wonder more and more.

"Are you visiting Oxford?" Charles continued, putting his phone away to keep his attention on Erik only as he talked. Very polite of him. Erik smiled more at that.

"I am. Have been living in England for a while now and decided to visit the city." 

That was a lie. Erik had been to Oxford multiple times in the six years he had moved from Germany to England, but Xavier didn't need to know that. Specially because the other times that Erik had been to Oxford it had been because of work.

"Oh, I hope you're liking it. It's a lovely place, especially if you like the medieval feeling it brings." Xavier's voice was as sunny as his smile as he talked about Oxford, a relaxed demeanor present on his body as if Erik wasn't a stranger at all. Maybe that ease with social interactions had to do with him being a Professor. Meanwhile, Erik was just a good liar. "It's also lovely if you like the Harry Potter movies."

"Not exactly a fan, but the city surely has its charms." Erik said, finally taking his glasses off and putting them on the collar of his shirt, looking directly at Xavier without the barrier of the tinted lenses. "Are you visiting too?"

"No, no. I'm a Professor at the university." he noticed the way the Professor puffed his chest slightly, apparently proud of his position, making Erik raise his eyebrows a bit at it. "I teach genetics."

"That's interesting. How long have you been working there?"

"Almost five years now…"

The conversation went on nicely as Xavier told Erik about his job and the life in Oxford while Erik made up a life he didn't have. To Xavier, he had gone to Columbia to get a degree in engineering but he never got to work in the area when he moved back to England, getting a job as a jeweler in London and finding his passion there. Every bit of the story Erik told Xavier over that lunch was false, except for his name — and even that, one could also argue was fake since his birth name was Max Eisenhardt and Erik Lehnsherr was the name he took when he moved to England and started to work as a hitman. His age and the fact that he lived in London were the few other honest answers.

Even so, he noticed how conversation seemed to be easy with the man in front of him, since whenever Erik had ran out of things to say, Xavier quickly filled the silence with some question or something about himself, the city, or the university. When they both had already finished their food, the conversation was still going, and Erik found himself chuckling at a few bad jokes that the Professor made from time to time. During the entire time, he looked for a reason for Kurt Marko to want that man dead, and yet he couldn't find one. Charles Xavier seemed to be the most sympathetic and nice man that Erik had ever met, which only made his curiosity over the work grow. Maybe Xavier had been an asshole towards Marko at some point and the man got angry. Maybe Xavier's work with genetics was a threat in some way to Marko's business. Or maybe Xavier wasn't as nice as he was showing himself to be. It was their first interaction after all. As much as first impressions were important, no one is sure who the other person is unless they give them time.

"That was a nice conversation, my friend, but I'm afraid I need to get back to my office at uni." the Professor said after he paid his bill and checked the time on his watch, smiling apologetically at Erik as if he didn't want to leave.

"It's alright. I need to head back to London as well."

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Erik. I hope I find you around again for another chat."

"Well, you _could_ give me your number." Erik shrugged casually, noticing the Professor blink a few times, as if he didn't believe Erik's words for a second, before smiling brightly in a way that almost made Erik widen his eyes. He looked truly happy that Erik had suggested that.

"Of course!"

Xavier didn't lose time, taking a pen out of the pocket of his grey coat and a napkin from the table, scribbling his number there, pushing it across the table towards Erik with a small smile still on his lips. Erik took it, smiling back and putting the napkin on his pocket with the feeling that his plan was a success.

He watched as the man wheeled himself forward in his wheelchair and slowly disappeared in the distance, knowing that now he had a bit more than a month to make Charles Xavier consider him a friend.

**THIRD STEP: ACTION**

It only took a week for Erik to be in Charles' good graces, and they talked so often over text now that Erik ended up getting used to calling him by the first name pretty quickly. On Thursday night was when Erik knew this friendship — however short-lived it will be — would work.

He was at his small flat in London, sitting by the windowsill with a glass of brandy in hand and watching Azazel work on his gun to clean it while talking about the man's latest job when his phone _dinged_ in his pocket. Surely enough, Charles' name appeared on the display, asking if Erik doesn't want to meet him in a bar in Oxford the next night. Erik smiled at that, typing a quick positive answer before pocketing his phone again. When he looked up, Azazel was already looking at him with his eyebrows raised.

"You don't have friends." the russian man said with a deadpan expression. "Who the hell is texting you?"

"Is it that hard to believe I made a friend?"

"Very. In fact, you said it yourself that this job doesn't allow you to make connections." something in Azazel's expression changed then, as if he understood something. "It's your target, isn't it? The one that Kurt Marko wants dead. Dear Lord, you actually managed to make him _like you?"_

"Why are you so surprised about that?"

"Lehnsherr, I'm only your friend because you can't push me away thanks to our mutual agreement to help each other. You scare everyone around you constantly."

"Well, he seemed to like me."

"Impressive. The man must be a saint."

"Or not, since Kurt Marko wants him dead."

The day after that went by in a hurry, and soon enough Erik found himself dressing up in one of the plaid shirts he owned and getting in an Uber as the twilight turned into night above him. The ride to Oxford was quick and he quickly found the bar that Charles had texted him about — _the best bar in all of Oxford,_ the man had said in one of his texts, _it's never crowded and the ambiance is nice._

It took him the total of five seconds to find Charles in the half empty bar, the blonde girl Erik had seen coming and going from his house standing by his side and smiling down at Charles as he said something with the same excited manner that he did when he and Erik talked in the restaurant when they first met.

 _Maybe she's his girlfriend,_ Erik thought for a moment, seeing how relaxed they looked around each other, but filed the option away quickly when he noticed the way the girl seemed to be scanning the bar with interested eyes, probably looking for someone to flirt with.

He raised his eyebrows when her eyes stopped on him, some kind of interest shining behind her eyes before she patted Charles on the shoulder and started to walk closer. Charles looked where she was going, looking slightly annoyed, until he noticed that the girl was making her way towards Erik. His expression turned into pure amusement as he crossed his arms over his chest and the corner of his lips turned into a small smile.

"Hello, I'm Raven, would you like to buy me a drink?"

Erik blinked at the blonde woman for a second, seeing the look on her face before looking back at Charles again. The Professor snorted, taking a sip of a drink that was sitting in front of him on the table before shaking his head. Meanwhile, Raven seemed to be waiting for an answer, and getting impatient at it.

"Well, sure, since I guess I'll already be drinking with you." Erik finally said something, making the woman frown at him for a second before some kind of understanding crossed her eyes.

"Oh shit, you're Charles' friend, aren't you?"

 _Charles' friend,_ Erik thought, holding back a winning smile. _Easier than I thought._

"I believe so, yes."

She gave him an apologetic look before turning back to walk towards the Professor as he chuckled quietly on his spot. Raven slapped the back of his head, making him laugh out loud for a moment.

"You could've told me." the woman said through gritted teeth as Erik finally approached them. 

"Why? And miss you trying to flirt with the one person I asked you _not to?"_

Curiosity flared on Erik's mind, at the knowledge that Charles asked that girl not to flirt with him for some reason, and he couldn't help thinking that maybe it was because Charles wanted to flirt with Erik himself. Erik still didn't know Charles' preferences, although he was pretty sure some of the texts Charles had sent him over the week had been flirtatious, and, if it was the case and Charles wanted to try and woo Erik, he couldn't find in himself anything opposed to that idea. At the very least it would be fun to watch and to play along.

He sat down at the table with them, seeing Charles offer him his hand and shaking it like they did in the restaurant.

"I'm glad you came, my friend." the Professor said, smile as bright as the last time. "And I think you already met my sister."

 _Sister,_ Erik thought, his eyes darting to the woman — Raven, she had said — for a moment before going back to Charles.

"I suppose I did. Quite an interesting meeting." next to them, Raven groaned in embarrassment.

"I'll remind you that you said _you_ _would_ buy me a drink for the rest of the night until you _do_ buy me one."

"Raven!"

"What? I'm here for free drinks and to stop you from drinking yourself to death, old man."

***

In the end Raven managed to find someone who would buy her a drink and that wasn't Erik — although the man _did_ buy her a drink after she reminded him that he said yes to that —, which led to Charles and Erik being alone at their table. And, weirdly enough, Erik was genuinely enjoying himself.

He was still lying about his current life and about things he couldn't let Charles know, but suddenly he felt comfortable enough with the Professor to speak about things he never spoke with anyone else. Charles talked away about his life, which was as lonely as Erik predicted, with the only friends being Raven, Hank, someone called Moira that Erik had never seen before, and now Erik as a fourth person to that small list. Erik, in return, started talking about his childhood.

He didn't know why he decided that it was a good idea to talk about it with Charles, and he would like to blame it on the alcohol and not on Charles' inviting energy that made him feel comfortable, but soon he was smiling as he talked about his late mother and father and everything good that he remembered from that time. Not even Azazel knew those things, mostly because opening up about stuff like this wasn't part of their dynamic, which consisted mostly in talking about work and current stuff in their lives, never their past or their feelings. 

Now Charles, who he had just met a week ago, knew about how Erik's mother used to make the best food he had ever eaten in his life, or how he once slept at the synagogue as a child because he was too tired and snored so loud that his father had carried him out with a red face thanks to the embarrassment; Small things that Erik had forgotten with time and were brought back to his memory as he talked with the Professor in front of him. And it felt incredibly great to talk about it, to smile about those memories again, that he almost forgot that the man who was in front of him, smiling fondly as if he could feel Erik's nostalgia as well, was the same man he would have to kill soon.

"And what about you?" Erik asked after another story about his childhood self, realizing just how much about himself he had revealed with those stories. "Any interesting childhood stories?"

Erik didn't miss how Charles' shoulders sagged slightly at the question, smile dying down for a second before it came back. His eyes seemed to have gotten less bright as well. He took a sip of his drink as he tried to think of something to give as an answer, and Erik's eyes narrowed then, watching Charles closely to understand the reaction.

 _Childhood is a weak point,_ he took a mental note, not being able to stop himself from analysing the man in front of him as he took a sip of his beer.

"I don't have many stories worth telling, to be honest." Charles chuckled at his own words, no real humor behind it. "I was a boring child. Nerdy and with only my sister as a friend… Never really left the house much, especially because I was homeschooled. I didn't have much to remember from that time."

"Come on, there must be at least one…" 

Charles' smile was still sad when he looked up at Erik then, jaw moving slightly from side to side as he tried to think of something.

"There was this one time my father took me and Raven to his work. I spent the day watching him develop some new medicine for his company." Charles' smile was nostalgic but still sad as he talked, but something in Charles' words made Erik frown for a moment, curiosity flaring up at Charles' words. "Raven hated it. She only felt better when our father allowed her to help him mix chemicals that probably weren't really safe for a seven year old to be exposed to."

"What did your dad work with?"

"He was one of the founders of M&X, the drug company. I believe you heard about it with how much Kurt Marko pays for the news channels to cover his accomplishments." there was something akin to dismissal in Charles' voice as he said Marko's name, and Erik tried his best not to show just how interested he was in what Charles was saying. So _that_ was the connection between Charles and Marko. "My father used to be head of research for M&X back when he was alive. Brilliant man."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know M&X had a co-founder."

"Oh, my father died years ago." there was a small sad smile on Charles' lips then, making Erik back down from his desire of asking Charles more questions. "His name is not included on Marko's accomplishments anymore."

"I'm sorry." Erik managed to say, suddenly uncomfortable with how sad Charles' eyes turned there.

"It's alright, it was a long time ago…"

Part of Erik still wanted to keep going with the conversation, to get Charles to talk more and maybe find out why Charles was a target, but there was something in Charles' expression and body language basically begging for Erik to let that subject die, and he couldn't find it in himself to go against that. He took a deep breath, trying to push all of his speculations away and go back to the moment; to Charles.

"Enough childhood stories then." Erik said, raising his bottle of beer and seeing Charles' eyes get softer with gratefulness. "Why don't you tell me about your work?"

That was apparently the right thing to say because Charles' eyes lit up immediately and his smile grew wider as he started talking about Oxford.

To Erik's surprise, he didn't need to pretend he was interested in Charles' words, because there was nothing to pretend. Something in that Professor made Erik want to listen to him, to see that smile light up his entire face as he talked about his research and the classes he gave, to ask more about it and see the pure joy in Charles' face for being able to talk non-stop about what he loved.

The night ended up being more enjoyable than Erik imagined.

***

He didn't think he'd be walking around the Oxford campus again after stopping his observation weeks ago, and yet there Erik was: a cup of coffee in hands and a very talkative Professor by his side, taking him around the place.

Charles had offered Erik the chance of watching one of his classes once Erik showed interest in seeing what Charles was like while giving his lectures, and Erik had accepted promptly. Weirdly enough, not because of his job and what he was supposed to do, but because he genuinely wanted to see Charles again in person.

After their meeting at the bar, after their talk that day, it was hard not to think about Charles. There was something about that man who was talking about genetics by Erik's side as Erik smiled easily at his excited words that seemed to pull Erik to him; strange, new, but comfortable.

"So, did you like it?" Charles asked then, smiling up at Erik with his eyebrows raised. "You seemed interested during the entire class."

"You were looking at me, Professor?" Erik teased, Charles' cheeks immediately turning pink at that before the man scoffed.

"Please, Erik, I look at all my students. I need to see if they are paying attention or not."

"How sad, I thought you were."

Charles seemed to blush even more at that, making Erik's smile grow as well as a newfound fondness for the man. That made Erik frown slightly, turning his face away from Charles in order to get his mind back on track.

 _You don't like him. You'll kill him,_ he said to himself, face getting stern at the thought.

"You alright, my friend?"

Erik's eyes turned back to Charles, seeing the man with his eyebrows raised, a genuine worried look on his blue eyes that made Erik's mind derail once more, determination turning to doubt without him even noticing. Silently, slowly, strange.

"Yeah. Just had a thought." Erik said, receiving a soft smile in return. He didn't realize how used to that smile he was getting.

**FOURTH STEP: FAILURE**

The sky was clear that morning when Erik woke up, stubborn sunlight passing through the small openings in the curtains and somehow managing to hit Erik's face — right over his eyes —, making Erik grunt and be thankful that he was a morning person. Otherwise, he probably would be cursing at the sun for waking him up like that. 

He got up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and opening the curtains wide to look outside, seeing London having an abnormally beautiful Summer day. He didn't like the heat that Summer brought with it, but at least it seemed like a good day for a run. He hadn't done it in a while now, so maybe it was time to get back to his old habit of exercising in the mornings. 

With that in mind, Erik changed into some old sweat pants and a loose shirt that wouldn't make him melt in the heat of the sun at seven in the morning, fishing for his phone, keys, wallet and headphones so he could leave the house. As the music played loudly in his ears and as he jogged through the streets to get to the nearby park, Erik tried to think about what he would do that day.

For some reason, he thought that there was something that he was forgetting he should be doing, but he couldn't for the life of him remember what it was. He had to do the groceries that day, he remembered that because he had been pushing it back for a while and it meant he would need to do it that morning if he wanted to cook his own lunch — he could stop at the grocery store near his apartment when he finished his running. He also needed to clean his kitchen and living room since he didn't do it the other day when he was cleaning the apartment because he was tired. Even so, those didn't feel like the thing he was forgetting he needed to do.

Erik sighed as he realized he wouldn't remember so soon, concentrating only on the run and knowing he would end up remembering later anyway.

He was right about that, he remembered much later, when he was already back home with the groceries, sweat covering his skin and body moving slightly with the music playing on his headphones. He remembered when he heard his phone _ding_ with the notification of a new text, seeing Charles' name on the screen. He remembered when he read Charles' good morning text and the one that accompanied it.

> _I don't know if I told you but tomorrow is my birthday and Raven, Hank and Moira are coming over to my house tomorrow night to celebrate. Nothing big, just a cake w/ friends. This is an invitation for you to come as well :)_

For the first time in Erik's life as an assassin for hire, his body froze and he felt cold, even having just exercised for a good hour and it being the middle of Summer. He forgot the date, it was July 12th, which meant that the next day was Charles' birthday.

Which meant that Erik would have to kill him the next day. 

It shouldn't have affected him that much, he had done that multiple times, but him and Charles had been talking for nearly two months now and he, despite the reason why he talked to Charles in the first place, had grown close to the Professor in that meantime. They've been hanging out together, talking through the phone or just texting, and Erik couldn't help but to grow fond of the other man, even flirting with him sometimes for the fun of it — and sometimes because he actually _wanted_ to. He couldn't believe he had forgotten why he became Charles' friend in the first place.

Now Charles was inviting Erik to hang out with him and his closest friends on his birthday, and wasn't that just the perfect situation to strike? Everything seemed to be perfect when it came to Charles as a job, seemed to happen exactly how Erik should want to have an easy target, except that Erik didn't count on liking Charles enough to hurt knowing that he would have to finish his job the next day.

He didn't reply to the text, even if Charles probably could see that he had already read it, putting his phone away and clenching his hands tightly, still feeling them cold. He didn't bother to put the groceries away yet, stripping himself naked and jumping into a cold shower, feeling the cold water make his muscles tense up immediately. He spent more time than he normally would under the water, his brain trying to plan how he would do it.

Everytime he came to a conclusive plan, he felt the pain of thinking he would have to kill _Charles;_ Sweet and loudmouthed Charles, whose biggest flaws were his arrogance from time to time and how much of himself he allowed Erik to see, opening up too quickly to a stranger he had just met and whose intentions weren't _at all_ good. Charles, whose eyes Erik grew accustomed with, full of life and happiness to live. It felt unfair how Erik would be the one to take that from him. 

He came out of the shower with his muscles still tense, with the feeling of exhaustion over his bones and he hated himself for it. It was his job, and Erik was good at his job because he knew how to separate personal life from his work, to not feel for the people he killed when he was told to. But, with Charles, it seemed like the line had blurred and suddenly he was part of both his personal life and his work. It felt like he was about to betray Charles — which he guessed was the point Kurt Marko wanted to make by making Erik pretend to be his friend.

For the first time in his life as a hitman, Erik felt like a monster.

He started putting the groceries away finally, a few frozen products already melting in the heat of the apartment, and the entire time Erik's eyes moved to look at his phone, knowing the text was still there with an invitation to be at his house on his birthday. As much as he should be pleased with the easy way things could go if he went, he hated how easy it was to get to Charles at that moment. 

He only took the phone again an hour later, unlocking it and seeing another text from the Professor from a couple of minutes ago.

> _It's okay if you don't want to come, I just thought I should invite you as well. I enjoy your company a lot, so it felt right. But I'll understand if you can't or don't want to come._

Erik cursed out loud, looking at the text for a few more minutes as he decided what to do, fingers hovering above the keyboard for a while until he finally typed a _'sorry, I was busy'_ and a confirmation that he'd go. The happy text back that he received made him lock his phone again and close his eyes, knowing that there was a job to be done.

***

On the night of July 13th, Erik felt even worse about that job as he stood in front of Charles Xavier's house, looking at it from the sidewalk as he held a small package with a gift for the Professor in his hands. It felt heavy, even being only a small box, and he wondered if he should even give Charles that. It wasn't like he would have much time to wear it anyway, but he figured that he was still going there to celebrate Charles' birthday and he didn't want to go there empty handed.

Other than the package, Erik had a small backpack with some clothes in case he needed them. Carefully hidden between the clothes, there was a gun; a 92 pistol that Erik had even before he started killing for money with a silencer also carefully wrapped with clothes next to it to not disturb the quiet Oxford neighborhood that night when Erik finished his work. He didn't remember a time in his life when he felt scared of holding a gun, the weapon now feeling like an extension of Erik ever since he started that job, but he was now. He was terrified of having to hold the 92 in his hands.

With a resigned sigh, Erik held his gift a little tighter and walked the few steps that led to the blood red door of Xavier's home, knocking on the wood and feeling like he was Death knocking on someone's door. And when Charles opened the door, he smiled up at his death and invited him in with a shine in his eyes of someone who saw a friend in Erik, oblivious to what Erik was and what he would be doing there. It took more of Erik than he thought it would take for him to smile back at Charles.

"You came!" Charles said excitedly. Erik resorted to nodding, trying to keep the smile on his lips as he looked down at the Professor.

"I did. And I brought you this."

"You didn't need to bring me a gift, Erik." 

Erik shook the box a little bit in front of Charles for him to take, making the other man sigh and take it to see what was inside, trying his best not to smile. Erik's heart clenched.

Charles' blue eyes shone brightly when he saw the watch that Erik had bought him; he remembered Charles complaining the other day about how his wristwatch had stopped working, old thing that it was, and couldn't help but to purchase that one when he saw it in the store's showcase. It wasn't too expensive, but it looked like something Charles would wear, the silver metal with a few almost unnoticeable blue details around it had quickly caught Erik's eyes. Thankfully, he seemed to be right as Charles analysed the watch with a smile on his lips.

"That's great, Erik! Thank you." the sincerity in Charles' voice and eyes as he said those words almost made Erik turn back and leave. Instead, he just answered.

"No problem. Hopefully this one will take a while to break..."

When Charles finally took him to the living room, he saw three other people there. One of them was Raven; she had a drink in her hands as she talked to the other two people there while a song played in the background. Erik had met with her a few more times during the time he kept talking to Charles, growing accustomed with the fact that Raven was a lot like him in some aspects and getting closer to her. He wondered if he'd have the courage to keep talking to her after that night.

Hank was there too, the boy Erik had seen walking side by side with Charles in Oxford when he was observing the Professor, and his eyes seemed very focused on Raven as she talked, making Erik almost raise his eyebrows at the blatant way he was showing he was attracted to the girl, and he wondered if Raven knew and just didn't say anything or if she was oblivious to Hank. They weren't together judging by the way she had tried to hit on Erik on the first day they met. He wondered how Charles felt knowing one of his students and friends had a crush on his sister — because he _should_ know, there was no way that Charles had missed that.

The third person, however, Erik didn't know. It was a woman who Erik had not seen before, her brown hair was short, shoulder length, and she had a relaxed and soft face and posture there, but Erik saw in her eyes, brown just like her hair, that there was more to her probably. There was a sharpness to her gaze, even if she was just talking to friends, that made Erik suddenly wary of her, raising his guard almost immediately.

He searched in his mind for a name, quickly recalling Charles' friend list. The only name left that wasn't Raven or Hank was Moira, and Erik made the guess that it probably was the woman's name, but Charles had never given details about the woman to give him an insight of who she was. 

"Everyone," Charles said by his side, bringing the attention to himself before everyone's eyes were on Erik. "This is Erik. Raven, you already know him but you two don't."

Moira was the first to get up from the couch, smiling at Erik in a friendly way and raising her hand for him to shake. That sharpness never left her eyes, and Erik felt almost as if she could know who he was with just a look if he wasn't careful, so he just took her hand, smiling back at her as best as he could.

"Moira MacTaggert." she said, a slight scottish accent to her words. "Pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine."

"I guess everyone is here?" Raven asked as Hank shook Erik's hand with so much nervousness in his behavior that Erik almost pitied the guy. 

"Yes! I can't believe that even Moira came." the woman chuckled at Charles' words, going back to the couch where she was sitting before. Erik did the same, carefully putting his backpack by the side of the couch, next to him. "I thought you'd stay on the other side of the country for a few more weeks."

"I managed to get a day off." Moira raised her hands in celebration, making Charles smile wide at her. "Scotland Yard gave me this recess so I could come back home for a while, and I managed to match the days to be here at your birthday. You're welcome."

 _Scotland Yard. She's from Scotland Yard,_ Erik thought, trying his best not to show his surprise on the outside. He was sitting right beside a Scotland Yard agent, which explained the sharpness in her look and why Erik had raised his guard as he saw her — he had an ability to detect people like Moira on the spot, which made Azazel like their partnership even more. By his side, Moira from Scotland Yard drank her drink calmly, unaware that she was sitting right next to an assassin, who had the job of killing their- _her_ friend.

***

Erik almost felt bad for having enjoyed the party. Between the heavy weight of knowing that it was the day he'd have to finish his job and having to make sure Moira didn't see anything suspect on him, Erik had had fun while he drank and talked to the others — or mostly listened. Raven had gotten drunk in the meantime, telling everyone stories of Charles as a little kid that made Charles try to run her over with his wheelchair just to stop her from saying anything more about how he would sometimes piss their mother off by refusing to shower as a little kid, resulting in him running naked and screaming through their childhood home.

"I take showers now." he had said, face red but still smiling as Raven snort-laughed next to him. For a moment, his eyes met Erik's. "Regularly."

"Thank God. You were a pest, Charles Xavier." Raven finished her words with a kiss to Charles' head.

They had sung _happy birthday_ to Charles, the man slightly embarrassed to just clap and stare at the cake while the others sang, making Erik smile at him before his smile almost turned sad. 

Now, late in the night, Hank left with a drunk Raven to give her a ride home, making Erik hide his amusement at how red he was as he held the girl close to take her to his car while Raven tried to hug him, strangely affectionate due to the alcohol. Moira left not much after, a tired expression on her face as she herself was slightly tipsy.

"Sorry, Charles. I need to crash on my bed… Otherwise I'd help you with the mess."

"Don't worry, darling. You go ahead."

"I'll help him before leaving." Erik offered, receiving a thankful smile from Moira. "I'm still sober enough to do it before heading home, I guess."

"Good thing that one of us is." she chuckled. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Erik. Hope I'll see you again."

Erik only nodded, in his mind wishing he would never have to cross paths with Moira again. Meanwhile, Moira lowered herself to hug Charles, receiving the hug back as she mumbled a last happy birthday to him and started to leave, going upstairs to her home — the same house Erik thought was empty when he first started watching Charles.

The house suddenly felt very quiet.

"You don't need to help me." Charles said then, voice calm now that it was just him and Erik, and Erik looked back at him to see the small smile painting his lips. "If you want to leave, I'll be okay. But if you want to stay… I have chess and more alcohol."

Erik wanted to leave, he thought about leaving and ignoring his job, ignoring Kurt Marko's request, but he couldn't. And, even if he did step back on that work, wouldn't Marko just hire someone else?

With a smile that he used all his strength to give, Erik nodded, seeing Charles smile wider at him, starting to move to get said alcohol and the chess board. Erik started cleaning the living room as he did so, taking a few cups and plates that were around the place and putting them on the sink, starting to wash them with a distant gaze. He just needed something to do while he wondered how he would proceed from there. Next to the couch, his backpack was still resting there, the gun still hidden inside.

Charles made him stop doing the dishes when he arrived with a bottle of scotch and the chessboard, telling Erik that he could do the dishes later just fine, and soon they were playing a game while they talked about nothing in particular, sipping from the glass tumblers as they did so. All the time, Erik's mind tried to make a good plan, both for the chess game and for finishing his job.

 _Knight takes his bishop in the next two moves,_ Erik thought, the edge of his glass pressed against his lip as his eyes stayed on the board. _A shot to the head while he isn't looking would do the trick… I wouldn't need to see his eyes._

As the game went, Erik was still conflicted, which wasn't good. Erik wasn't supposed to feel conflicted, not when the subject was a target, but Charles' smiles when he managed to make a play that would cost Erik a few pieces on the board and the way his eyes seemed darker now thanks to the lighting in the room made him waver. It seemed like Charles knew the exact moves to play to make him have to rethink everything he did, and although he was open and seemed like an easy play, it was hard to win against Charles.

When the game ended and Charles smiled widely as he said _'check mate',_ Erik was sure that Charles had won more than that chess match.

"That was a good game," the Professor said, chuckling slightly and downing the rest of his scotch before he looked over at Erik again. "If it wasn't so late I'd ask for another one."

"I guess I should be on my way then."

Charles paused at Erik's words, making Erik frown a little bit. He watched as Charles swallowed his own spit and moved his body a little on his wheelchair. 

"You could stay the night. It's very late."

Erik wanted to scream then, wanted to tell Charles to get away from him and stop giving him so many chances of killing him, because at this point Erik was accepting any excuse not to finish what he was hired to do, to go away and just leave Charles alone, and yet Charles seemed to be pulling Erik closer and closer, opening his arms to him enough for Erik to aim perfectly at his heart and take a shot. This time, Charles seemed to notice the conflict in Erik's eyes and pursed his lips, apparently regretting his words.

"No, nevermind. You probably want your own bed to sleep in. I just-" he shook his head, running his hand through his hair in a nervous gesture. "Nothing. Thank you for coming, Erik. I really enjoyed your company."

"I'll stay." Charles looked at him with wide eyes, surprised, as Erik took a deep breath and nodded. "You're right, it's late."

"Right. I can get the- the spare bedroom for you."

"I can sleep on the couch."

"Oh, don't be silly, Erik. There's a bed, there's no reason for you to sleep on the couch."

"It's not a problem. I sleep on my couch some nights… Don't trouble yourself in fixing the guest bed."

It took a few moments of back and forth arguments for Charles to accept that Erik wanted to sleep on the couch. It was easier to hide that he was there for the night if the spare bedroom was still unused, if Erik laid on the couch until Charles slept and killed him then. But, as he laid there on Charles' couch in the spare clothes he had brought with him, he dreaded the moment that Charles fell asleep.

He could hear the other man moving around in his bedroom, and somewhere in Erik's mind he wished that the noises kept going, that Charles stayed awake for whatever reason, and that the gun in his backpack, already with the silencer on, didn't get to be used. The conflict inside of his head was loud and disorienting, and soon he felt as if he wasn't in control anymore, not when the decision he should make wasn't clear in his head.

He didn't even notice when he got up, his bag still at the foot of the couch and left there with the gun still inside, and walked to Charles' bedroom door. The door was open, allowing Erik to see the other man fixing his bed, apparently already in his sleeping clothes, ready to go to sleep in just a few moments. It took a few seconds for Charles to notice Erik there, jumping slightly and cursing under his breath before he smiled at himself for getting scared. Erik didn't smile back, he knew that Charles should be scared.

"Everything alright?" Charles asked, polite and with that smile still on his lips, tilting his head to the side slightly. "Gave up on sleeping on the couch?"

Erik entered the room, still acting on impulse, not thinking about any of his actions as he did them, and soon he was lowering his body and pulling Charles' face up for a kiss. He felt part of the heavy weight on his chest leave as he felt Charles kissing back after a moment of hesitation and surprise, even if he still didn't know why he was kissing him. He wanted it, yes, or else he wouldn't have kissed the other man; he knew for a while now that he was attracted to Charles, just like Charles was to him. The thought that he was doing it because it was his last chance to do so only made Erik kiss Charles harder, taking a pleased sound from the other man.

They kissed, and soon they were both on the bed, Charles laying on his back and holding to Erik's shoulders as Erik took a few pleased sounds out of him by attacking his neck with his mouth. Erik realized just then that Charles' upper body was probably very sensitive thanks to his disability, which only made him suck and bite more the pale skin of Charles' neck and shoulders. It wasn't long until both of them were naked and pulling at each other, sharing heated kisses still and trying to keep their bodies as close as possible.

Erik ignored his own erection the whole time, hard thanks to Charles' sounds and his hand sometimes pulling at his cock tentatively, the dry drag of Charles' hand against Erik's prick burning deliciously; but he wanted to focus on Charles, wanted to give him all the pleasure there and hear more of the sounds that the Professor kept letting out. He _needed_ that, as if that was his only chance of doing so while the conflict in his mind kept going. He winced at his own thoughts, letting out a grunt and going back up to kiss Charles' lips again, desperate for the feeling of his kiss, as if it could make his thoughts fade away. And it did.

In that moment, with that kiss, Erik's mind and body were Charles'.

After another kiss, Erik pulled back and looked down at Charles, seeing how his pupils were blown wide — almost no blue there to be seen anymore — and how his hair was a mess against the pillow. Erik didn't remember seeing anything more beautiful and erotic than Charles' red lips redder from all the kissing. 

"How do I-" Erik started, already breathing heavily as Charles' hands explored his chest, his touch burning his skin.

Charles seemed to understand what he wanted immediately, smiling up at him and moving his hands from Erik's chest to the back of his neck and head, lowering Erik's face to his chest, making Erik understand immediately what he wanted. When his tongue licked one of Charles' nipples, the other man ached into the contact, letting out a shuddering moan and pulling Erik's hair slightly. Erik continued what he was doing, bringing one of his hands to play with the other nipple as his mouth started to explore Charles' torso now, searching for the spots that made Charles moan.

He found out Charles' sensitive spots, feeling Charles' eyes on him the whole time as he kissed, licked and bit him on those spots, noticing the goosebumps that ran through Charles' body now. He only heard Charles call out his name quietly before he noticed Charles had his orgasm, his body aching slightly off of the bed and his head thrown back, mouth open in a silent cry. Erik watched him then, admiring as the man came down from his orgasm and thinking that the way Charles' face and chest were flushed from the pleasure made him look beautiful. When Charles seemed to recover some sense, he pulled Erik down for another kiss, and Erik went willingly. 

"Bottom drawer of the bedside table." Charles whispered after the kiss, brushing his lips against Erik's cheek for a moment.

Erik didn't question him, moving to look at the bottom drawer and finding what Charles probably wanted him to find, bringing the bottle of lube to the bed and seeing a grin appear in Charles' lips that made Erik's entire body shiver. As soon as he could, however, his lips were on Charles'.

He didn't fight when Charles put some lube on his hand and moved it back to Erik's cock, now leaking already from being neglected that whole time, parting the kiss to gasp at the feeling as Charles worked him with his hand. He lowered his head, hiding his face on Charles' neck and pressing his mouth to the pale skin there, moaning against it and hearing Charles whisper sweet dirty things into his ear. His hand didn't stop, twisting and pumping around Erik's cock until Erik was thrusting against the tight circle of his fingers in earnest. The easy slide of his fingers thanks to the lube and the way Charles seemed how to work Erik in the perfect way made Erik gasp loudly; he could feel his orgasm building up with each stroke and each thrust of his own hips, moaning against Charles' skin and taking the chance to suck on it. When he came, Charles chuckled and kept his hand moving, milking Erik's orgasm from him and making Erik's body shake from head to toe.

It took a few seconds for him to be able to breathe right again and raise his head to look at Charles' face, seeing the happy smile that he had and huffing out a laugh at the man's expression, placing a quick kiss to his lips before moving to kiss at his jaw, needing the contact and needing to keep his mouth on Charles for as long as he could.

"I thought you weren't interested." Charles mumbled, tilting his head to the side to allow Erik to kiss his neck now, a clear smile on his voice. "Thought you flirting with me was just for fun."

"It was," Erik said, raising his face again and seeing Charles frowning. "But it wasn't at the same time."

"I'm glad then." Charles' hand moved to push a few strands of hair away from Erik's face, the dumb smile still on his lips, slowly getting more and more tired. "Is it bad that this was my birthday wish when I blew the candles on the cake?"

Erik let out a loud laugh at that, making Charles smile up at him, apparently pleased with Erik's laugh, and suddenly the world didn't exist anymore; it was just him and Charles in that perfectly calm moment.

"Sleep with me?" Charles offered after a while, soft gaze over Erik's face as he seemed to study the man's face carefully.

Erik didn't let himself think about it when he nodded, receiving a kiss for his answer and watching as Charles retrieved tissues from the bedside table and cleaned them both. It was only when he wasn't able to close his eyes as Charles slept calmly next to him that he realized he wouldn't sleep. The perfect moment was gone as soon as it came, and reality settled in.

He spent the whole night watching Charles sleeping, knowing that all he needed now was to get up, get his gun and finish the job, but instead he watched Charles sleep, memorizing every freckle and the way he looked while asleep, his face soft and free of worries, as if Erik wasn't laying by his side and had his life in the palm of his hands.

Erik's body ached for rest, but his mind wouldn't let him sleep. So, when the morning came and Charles started walking up as the sunlight started hitting his face, Erik was still awake and with his eyes on the other man's face, unable to move. Charles smiled at him when he finally opened his eyes, apparently happy to see Erik there, but Erik didn't smile back.

"I'm sorry." Erik said then, his voice failing for a moment thanks to his dry throat and the hours he spent without using it. By his side, Charles chuckled.

"For what?"

"I'm not who you think I am." his voice was quiet in the early morning, a whisper, the only noise filling the room as Erik couldn't stop his mouth now. Not after he had Charles in his arms the night before. 

"Okay… And who are you then?"

"I was hired to befriend you. To make you think I was your friend until your birthday came." Erik confessed, seeing Charles frown at his words. "I was hired to kill you, Charles."

For a moment, there was silence. Charles looked at Erik with curious eyes, still waking up from his slumber, until he chuckled and shook his head, somehow amused. _He thinks I'm joking..._

"Stop that, Erik."

"I have a gun in my bag, Charles. I was supposed to kill you last night, because it was my order. To kill you on your birthday." Erik continued, and he saw the moment that Charles started considering his words were real, his breathing stopping for a moment as he looked at Erik with the beginning of fear growing inside the blue of them. "I couldn't. Not after meeting you. Not after- I guess I failed my job when instead of pretending I was your friend I _became_ your friend. When I started liking you."

"Erik-"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Charles. But I don't expect you to forgive me. So I'll leave, and you'll never have to see me again."

"Please tell me you're lying." Charles' voice was stained with fear over Erik now, but there was hope there. Hope that Erik wasn't telling the truth, and Erik hated himself for having to break it; for being obligated to only leave the fear there.

"I'm sorry."

Erik got up from the bed then, his body aching from the lack of rest, fishing his clothes and dressing himself as fast as he could. Charles' eyes never left him, although Erik couldn't bring himself to look back at the man. Even so, he heard when Charles' breathing became heavier, when he sucked in the air desperately, and he knew Charles was crying. From sadness or fear, Erik couldn't know.

He left Charles' house in the morning without looking back.

The ride back to London felt longer than usual, and when he finally got home he threw his backpack with the gun he didn't manage to use away, standing in the middle of the living room and realizing something that he had realized the night before, but that now was more relevant than ever. He hadn't killed Charles, which meant that the possibility of someone else doing it was high. His life had passed from Erik's hands to someone else's, who probably wouldn't back down like he did, and the idea should make him relieved. He didn't have to kill Charles anymore.

Instead, he was terrified.

For a moment, he thought about just letting it go, but he quickly realized he couldn't, not with Charles. So he closed his eyes for a second, making a plan that he wasn't sure if it was going to work or not, and deciding to rest before he could do something. He'd need his energy if he was really going to risk himself like he intended to.

**FIFTH STEP: CHANGE OF PLANS**

Charles wasn't home the day after Erik revealed to the Professor who he was and what he was supposed to do, but Moira was, which was all that Erik needed. 

He got out of his car, looking once again at Charles' house to make sure that he really wasn't there and would see him coming, taking the stairs that led to Moira's door on the first floor of the small duplex. He knocked on the red wood, moving his weight from one feet to the other as he waited for someone to pick up. When Moira opened the door, she took only a second to recognize him, her eyes widening in surprise at Erik.

"Erik?"

"Hey, sorry. I was wondering if I could talk with you." and before she could say something he quickly added, "It's about Charles."

She blinked at him a few times, as if she was still very confused with his presence there, before she opened the door a little more and stepped aside for him to enter her house. He sighed in relief at that, stepping in and giving her a thankful smile. His relief only lasted a few moments, however, once he heard the sound of a gun being loaded and felt the cold metal of the gun barrel against the back of his head once he was already inside the house.

He had expected at least a chance of asking for Moira's help without her finding out what he did. Clearly he was wrong.

"You are very stupid to just come into my house being who you are and knowing who I am." her voice was serious, probably was the voice she used with all the people she ever arrested in her life, and Erik clenched his jaw. "You'll stay in your place and I'll call my colleagues to get you arrested."

"Please, let me just talk with you." Erik tried.

"No. Don't fucking move."

Without any other option, Erik moved. He had dealt with enough situations where a gun was pointed at him and he had to think fast or get shot, and that was just another one of those. He turned to Moira the moment he noticed her moving to get the phone that was placed at a small desk next to them, catching her by surprise and managing to hold her wrist with enough strength to ease her fingers around the gun, taking it from her hand. He didn't expect the punch to the stomach she gave him, making him drop the gun. 

He took a few steps back as he tried to breathe properly again, seeing Moira trying to reach for the gun again and making him ignore his need for air to drop to the ground and grab her by the legs and pull her away. She grunted as her chin hit the floor, making Erik almost apologize for it, but he could do that once there wasn't a chance of him getting shot. He jumped for the gun again, receiving a kick to his waist that took a pained scream out of him, followed by grunts as she climbed on his back, her knees pressing harshly to his skin and hurting him. He moved to the side, dropping her to the ground and finally — finally! — managed to get the damned gun, turning around and pointing it at Moira. She finally stopped moving, but she didn't seem scared.

She looked insanely livid, her brown eyes burning as she looked at him with clear anger behind them. Erik was sure that, in other circumstances, he would have liked Moira. Right now, he just wanted her to listen.

"Will you kill me?" Moira asked, eyes still burning with rage. 

"Of course not. I came here to talk."

Moira seemed truly confused and surprised when Erik took the bullet cartridge out of the gun and threw it under the couch, before throwing the empty gun to the opposite side, sitting on the ground with a grunt as his body hurt from where Moira had hit him.

"I'm assuming Charles told you what I told him?"

"Yes. This morning. I was about to call Scotland Yard to start a search for you." Erik chuckled at that, shaking his head.

"Then I arrived at the right time."

"Why the fuck are you here?"

"I told you, it's about Charles." Erik swallowed his own spit, seeing that the woman didn't trust him at all. This would be more difficult than he imagined. "I need your help to arrest the man who hired me to kill Charles."

***

Moira was sitting at one of the chairs of her breakfast table while Erik occupied the other — he had made sure to keep her away from the couch where the bullet cartridge was, as well as keeping her away from the gun that rested on the hallway floor. She wasn't still fully convinced that Erik wanted to help, her eyes still trying to find something in Erik that showed that he was lying. 

"You shouldn't know about who hired you." she said, crossing her arms once more, like she had been doing the entire morning, and narrowed her eyes at Erik. 

"I have my tricks." he waved his hand, careful not to reveal too much — not saying Azazel's name was important. "Kurt Marko hired me to kill Charles. He'll hire someone else when he realizes I failed and they probably _won't_ back down."

She stayed silent for a moment more, analysing Erik, and he just waited. He had told her about the specifics of his job involving Charles, had showed her the order with the request for him to befriend Charles and kill him on his birthday — no reason to hide it now that she already knew who he was; he had laid everything on the table, which meant that now it was up to her to arrest him now or to try and help him. Erik knew that it was beneficial for her if she got him locked up first, and he had gone there with that in mind. He was willing to risk his freedom for that.

Even so, there was some hope that Moira wouldn't immediately get him locked up, give him a chance. It was small, but it was there, next to the hope that Charles could forgive him if he cleaned that mess. The last one was even smaller.

"Kurt Marko is Charles' step-father." Moira said then, making Erik stop in his tracks. That was a piece of information he didn't have about Charles. "I know that they don't have a good relationship, but why would he want to _kill_ him?"

"I don't know, I don't usually ask questions to the people who hire me." Moira's gaze became more dangerous there at the mention of his job, making him sigh. "All I know is that he does, and he probably will try again."

"Give me a reason not to arrest you."

Erik closed his mouth, the request making him lean back a little bit. There were none, except that he was cooperating with her right now. And even so, it wasn't nearly a good enough reason. 

"Will you stop Marko before he gets to Charles if you do?" 

The question seemed to throw Moira off guard immediately, her face giving him enough proof of how surprised she was at Erik's words until she went back to a neutral face. Erik only stared at her, waiting for her answer.

"It would be a life sentence for you." she tried, making Erik groan and roll his eyes. "You'd never leave jail if it was in my hands."

"Will you get Marko, MacTaggert? That's all I want."

"Why didn't you kill him?"

"Because I couldn't!" Erik hit his hands on the table in front of him, angry now as he looked at Moira. The woman seemed unaffected by it, but something crossed her eyes at Erik's reaction. "Because I like him, and I couldn't finish the job. Because he doesn't deserve it. Are you happy now?"

Moira sighed then, uncrossing her arms and leaning forwards again to rest her arms on the table. Erik didn't move, waiting for her to say something, anything.

"If I lock you right now it might be too late to help Charles if Marko hires someone else. I'll have to run an investigation on him first, however, and I'll need a reason to start digging into one of the big names of the pharmaceutical industry in the UK." Moira sighed again, rubbing her forehead as if she had a headache. 

"Anonymous statement. You can use my claim that Marko is involved with something without having my name as the one who said it. I could make it into a letter or something so you can have it as evidence."

"While I know _you_ are the assassin that was hired? That'd be against the law."

"You haven't locked me up yet, I guess you're bad at your job, MacTaggert. You're going against it right now." Moira groaned at that and, this time, Erik was the one crossing his arms, his expression growing softer suddenly. "How's… How's Charles by the way?"

"He's stronger than he looks, still shaken by the revelation that there was an assassin on his bed two days ago but he's pushing through it." Erik clenched his jaw, just happy to know Charles wasn't that bad, and nodded. "You wanna know the worst part? He wasn't even that mad that you were an assassin, he felt worse because he actually liked you and it turned out you didn't like him and it was just fake."

"It-" Erik stopped himself, clenching his jaw once more to stay quiet.

Somehow, through the look in Moira's eyes, Erik knew she had caught what his words would be if he had let them out: _It wasn't fake, I like him, that's the reason I told him those things and the reason I didn't kill him. The reason I left._

The danger in her eyes died down a bit after that, even if she still didn't seem pleased with Erik's presence, or his existence for that matter.

It took a while for them to come to an agreement on how to do it, it took even more time for Erik to convince Moira not to arrest him so quickly — although he felt that it would end up happening. After a few hours talking, both of them heard a noise coming from downstairs, making Erik frown and get on his guard until he saw the look in Moira's eyes. Charles had arrived home.

"We have a deal, MacTaggert?" Erik asked, suddenly desperate to leave that place now that Charles was close again. Moira sighed, nodding shortly.

"You are clear for now. But don't think I won't be after you when this is over."

"Don't worry, I'll make it difficult for you when the time comes."

Despite everything, Moira smiled.

He was about to leave the house when his phone rang, making him frown at the noise and take it from his pocket. Azazel's name was on the screen, which only made him even more confused. Azazel never called unless there was something truly important to say, he hated using his phone for anything. Erik picked up the phone, seeing Moira raise her eyebrows at him as she held the door open.

"What is it?"

 _"What happened with that Xavier guy?"_ Erik stopped in his tracks, body freezing for a moment and making Moira raise her guard, as if she could see there was something happening.

"What do you mean?"

_"I got news from Emma that someone else was hired by Marko, he still didn't hide his IP properly. The order was to kill Xavier in the first chance possible."_

"Do you know who got the job?"

_"No, Emma didn't say names, but weren't you supposed to do it?"_

"I need you to do me a favor, _Buddy."_ he could hear the sharp intake of breath Azazel gave when he called him that. That was code for _'I can't say your name, I'm compromised'._ "Find out with the White Queen who was hired. Get the order from Marko, find a way to send me without compromising anyone else that isn't Marko and the hired hitman."

_"What are you up to, Lehnsherr…"_

"Working with the enemy, I guess." Erik raised his eyes to look at Moira, who raised a curious eyebrow at him at those words. "Just do what I told you."

_"Be careful."_

Azazel hung up after that, leaving Erik with a bad taste in his mouth with the news of how quick Marko was to hire someone else. 

"What happened?"

"Charles is in danger." Erik said simply, seeing the expression in Moira's face change into a worried one. "You'll have to act quick now. I'll get you Marko's order and you'll register as an anonymous complaint. There'll be enough evidence there for Marko to be investigated."

"And I suppose you'll run after that."

"Can you blame me?"

"I need you to do something, at least until the investigations on Marko start and we get the new hired assassin." she took a deep breath, closing her eyes and shaking her head, as if she didn't like her own idea. "I can't believe I'm saying this… Stay with Charles. Keep him safe. I'm sure you know how to avoid the new hitman to get to him."

Erik stopped breathing for a moment at the thought of having to watch Charles now, to keep him safe this time. Even so, he nodded.

"It's better if he's not at home. Take him to yours, I'm sure it's a good enough hiding place." Moira continued, making Erik get even more nervous. "We should go down there and tell him."

"He won't want to see me."

"Neither did I want to see you, and yet you fought me and made me listen, didn't you?"

***

He knew it would be awkward to talk to Charles again, but he didn't imagine just how much.

After talking to the Professor with Moira's aid for an hour, Charles had agreed in staying with Erik while Moira went to her precinct and started the case against Marko. The subject of his stepfather wasn't something easy for Charles to swallow as well, both Erik and Moira being told to shut up when they tried to ask Charles if there was a reason for him to want him dead. As much as they had fought before — and Erik had the pains and probably the bruises to remember it later —, that was the moment where they agreed they should listen to Charles and shut up.

Now, Moira was gone and it was just Erik and Charles inside Erik's car heading to London so Erik could keep Charles in his apartment, where no one would be looking. Charles didn't seem very happy to be inside a car with Erik but it wasn't like he had another option than to listen to the hitman on what was best for him to do when there was another hitman just waiting to strike. The car drive was silent and awkward enough to make Erik cringe a few times.

It was a process to get Charles up to Erik's apartment due to the fact it was an old building that only had stairs, which meant it was not made for wheelchair users. Erik had spent a few minutes outside the car, leaning against Charles' window as the man had his arms crossed in annoyance inside, trying to find a way to say his idea to Charles after not talking to him for the whole time it took them to get there. 

"I can carry you up and take your stuff after." he said when he realized he _should_ be speaking. Charles didn't seem pleased _at all._

But then again, he didn't have many options.

Holding Charles again was both exhilarating and terrifying, and as he made sure the other man was comfortable in his arms, he tried his best to ignore Charles' hand on the back of his neck, where it was holding to keep himself steady as well. There was a little problem with opening the door like this, leading to Charles fishing for Erik's keys on his back pocket and opening the door himself — which made Erik tense completely when he felt Charles' hands there. He was sure he never went through a moment like that in his life.

His only peace was when he placed Charles on the couch, helping him to get more comfortable as the man laid there and rubbed his face with a sigh as if he was stressed, before he left to get Charles' wheelchair and the small bag he had brought with him with clothes and personal items. 

"Have you called Oxford already?" Erik asked as he closed the door behind himself and put the bag on top of the wheelchair to push them next to Charles — he was glad that at least his floor was leveled and Charles would be able to move through the house if he wanted.

"No, but I will. I have some vacation days pending that I can ask for." Charles shrugged, not really looking at Erik. "Would you mind leaving me alone for a moment? I'm… I need to think."

"Yes, it's no problem." Erik nodded, voice softening as he put the breaks on the chair when it was close to the couch. "Call me if you need something."

"Will do." but his voice was weak, showing that he wouldn't call for Erik any time soon.

In fact, the next time they interacted was at night during dinner when Charles asked about the guest room that he was promised so he could sleep. Erik watched him from the door for a while as Charles looked around himself to study the small room.

"I know it's not big but hopefully it's enough…"

Charles didn't answer, eyes now staring at the bed in complete silence, making Erik wonder if he should leave. He was about to, when he heard Charles' voice again.

"Why didn't you kill me?"

It was a fair question to ask, although Erik didn't like to answer that again after having to tell Moira already earlier. Even so, he knew Charles was probably still confused about it, and Erik couldn't blame him.

He clenched and unclenched his fists as he tried to find a way to answer that properly, seeing Charles raise his eyes to meet Erik's, looking for an answer there.

"I couldn't." it was the same words he had told Moira earlier, but in a quieter tone, as if now it was harder to say them. Charles kept looking at him, listening closely. "I never… Never _not_ finished a job before. I didn't care about the people who I was hired to kill. But then again, I never made friends with them before doing it."

A spark of pain seemed to cross Charles' eyes there, his face turning slightly as if he wanted to look away. But he didn't, his eyes stayed on Erik, even if he looked tense for doing it.

"I really thought you liked me, you know?"

"I do like you, Charles." the words made Charles frown. "I wouldn't have risked myself by talking to Moira if I didn't, or brought you here to keep you safe, which I still think it's a way she found to keep me in place so she can arrest me after she's done with Marko."

"You _said_ you were hired to pretend to be my friend."

"I also said that I ended up actually liking you in the process."

"I'm just-" but he didn't finish his phrase, closing his eyes and sighing loudly. Erik nodded.

"I know." he said, Charles' eyes going back to him. "I'll leave you alone now. Again, if you need something…"

"Sure." Charles nodded. "Can I just ask you one last thing?"

"Yes…"

"That night, on my birthday, when we… When we had sex. Did you-"

"I wanted it." Erik quickly said, sighing and seeing Charles' face relax a bit, even if not much. "I wanted you."

"Alright…" Charles nodded, eyes finally leaving Erik completely. "That was all. Thank you."

"See you in the morning."

As Erik closed the door behind himself, leaving Charles alone in the guest room in his apartment, he cursed any deity that would listen for having met Charles under the worst circumstances possible.

***

Erik didn't sleep that night, sitting on the couch in the living room with a gun next to him as some part of his brain told him to stay vigilant, as if Charles was still in danger. What an irony that now he was protecting the man he was meant to kill just a few days after changing his mind. His paranoia paid off, however, when he heard the sound of his front door being opened.

Erik was quick to get up then, finger hovering over the trigger of his gun as the person entered the apartment, and luckily he looked before shooting, and soon Azazel was looking at him with a raised eyebrow at the gun.

"Gun down, Lehnsherr, it's me."

"What the fuck are you doing here? It's three in the morning." Erik put the gun down, an annoyed expression on his face. 

"I have the key and you never sleep early anyway, idiot. I also wanted to check on you. What happened with the Xavier job?"

"I changed my mind." 

"On a _job?"_

"It became more than that…"

Azazel stared at him for a moment, narrowing his eyes until realization hit him. Erik groaned in advance.

"You're a fucking idiot."

"You tell me that a lot, yes."

"You like the guy, don't you? What happened? You were compromised earlier."

"I was talking to someone who's part of Scotland Yard-"

_"What?"_

"Be more quiet, Charles is in the guest room, asleep!" Azazel seemed to freeze for a moment, eyes staring at Erik as if he wasn't real. Erik hated that look. 

"What the fuck-"

"Listen, I know that you think I'm an idiot, but he doesn't deserve to die."

"That's not how we work, Lehnsherr."

"Then maybe I don't want the work anymore!"

Azazel sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as if Erik was a headache, and Erik thought about his own words for a second. He wasn't lying, although he didn't think about it before that moment. There was some hope that, if Erik left his job, there would be a chance that Charles would forgive him. It was pathetic, especially considering how Charles was uneasy around him now, but he hoped anyway. Part of him felt petty for that, for giving up on his work because of a man, but the other part ached for someone he could never have.

"I'll need to leave this place once this is over." Erik said quietly, seeing Azazel looking at him again. "The Scotland Yard person I talked about is helping me now because Charles' safety is involved. Once this is over then she'll start hunting me."

"You sent the information I gave you to that person?"

"I did. They started the investigation on Marko already." Erik nodded, sighing. "It'll only be a matter of time before he's not a problem anymore."

"How did you get in this mess, Erik…" 

"Found someone." he confessed, a self loathing smile appearing in his lips. "The worst part is that I think he'll never trust me again."

Azazel sighed, looking at him for a few moments before nodding, apparently understanding enough of Erik's situation. 

"Emma can help you if you need to disappear. She doesn't say it but she likes you enough to do it." the other man said, walking closer to pat Erik on the shoulder. "Good luck."

"Thank you." Erik sighed, voice gloomy in the dark room. "And I'm sorry but you can't stay, Charles _is_ still here and I think I'm the only assassin he's mildly accepting of being around him at the moment."

**SIXTH STEP: RESOLUTION**

Erik was in the backroom of the store, his focus on the small metal pendant from a bracelet that he was working on, when he heard one of his co-workers' voice calling out his name.

"Max!" he heard again, making him raise his eyes from the small piece and stare at the other man with his eyebrows raised. Finn knew he didn't like being interrupted when he was working with small pieces like that one. "Da ist jemand der dich sehen will."

The words only made Erik frown a little more. _"There's someone who wants to see you";_ There wasn't anyone in Erik's life who would just look for him in his work, and Erik quickly started to wonder who could that be when Finn asked if he could bring the person to the backroom. Erik agreed, seeing the man leave and looking at the pendant for a moment before putting it away to go back to it later. 

When Charles showed up at the door, Erik felt his breath leave his lungs completely.

He thought that maybe he was imagining things as he saw the man there, looking back at him with some surprise in his eyes as he looked back at Erik, there was no way that the blue eyes that stared at Erik from the small corridor that led to the backroom were Charles'. But, when the image of him didn't fade away, Erik felt his breath leaving him again.

It had been two years since Erik had last seen the Professor, and he didn't get to say goodbye. A few days after Erik took him in, Azazel called him with the news that they had arrested Marko and that Emma Frost was taking precautions to take him away from the country before Moira and Scotland Yard got to him. All of that had happened in the middle of the night, as Charles slept in Erik's guest bedroom in his old apartment back in London, and Erik quickly gathered everything he needed into a suitcase and left to meet with Azazel. 

On his way out, Erik had stopped by Charles' door, opening it to take a last look at the man sleeping peacefully and place a brief note on the bedside table next to him before he left.

> _Everything will go back to normal now. I'm sorry for everything, I'll try to be better. I wish we could've met in a different way._

Everything _didn't_ go back to normal. Erik had read on the news about Marko's case, and finally understood the reason why he wanted his stepson dead so badly. Charles' father had a joint will with his wife that said that his half of the company he owned would belong to Charles in the event of their passing, and the family fortune would be divided between him and Raven evenly. When Brian Xavier — Erik had learned the name from the news at the time — died when Charles was a kid, his part of the company belonged to Sharon Xavier thanks to that joint will. When she married Kurt Marko, she had allowed him to take care of both parts since she had no interest in his late husband's work.

Two years later, when Erik was hired to kill Charles, Sharon had fallen ill. In the hopes of not losing half of the company to Xavier, Kurt had tried to kill him before Sharon died, which happened only weeks after Marko was arrested for what Erik remembered. Charles apparently had no idea of that joint will and his parents' wishes for him to keep the company, but, after all of that, Charles had given M&X to someone who would care for it since he had no intention of taking in his father's company. Erik remembered reading an interview with Charles as well at the time, about his relationship with Kurt, and remembered feeling nauseated about the whole thing after.

 _"We weren't friends. When he married my mother, we didn't get close. He was a bitter man, but I didn't think much of it or of his words at the time. I was accustomed to keeping myself quiet when an adult talked as a child."_ Charles had said in that interview and Erik could almost hear his voice saying each word when he read it years ago. _"He used to say a lot of things_ to _me and_ about _me. I think the one that stuck the most was that I would never have friends, since I was a reclusive child. That the ones I made would only want something from me."_

The final puzzle piece of Erik's failed job finally was found after those words, and Erik had to go for a run to burn all the nervous energy in his body, knowing that — without even knowing — he had been the fulfilment of Marko's words to Charles: a friend who wasn't a friend, who wanted something from Charles, who wanted to kill him. He had gotten sick that day.

After all of that, and after Erik flew back to Germany with Emma's and Azazel's help, Erik didn't expect to see Charles ever again. And yet, there he was.

His hair was longer than what Erik remembered, and the blue sweater he wore made his eyes even bluer if that was even possible, but what really caught Erik's eyes was the wristwatch that he was wearing; it was the same one Erik gave him for his birthday years ago, now a little more worn out with the time, but still the same.

"I hope I'm not bothering." Charles said, his voice making Erik finally accept that it was him there, the posh accent hitting Erik's words and bringing back too many memories. 

"No, I… Hi." Charles smiled slightly at that, amused.

"Hi." he said back, moving his chair to enter the room, looking around for a moment before his eyes went back to Erik's. "New job, I see. I have to admit I like this one more…"

"A lot calmer…" Erik nodded, but his hands were restless as he toyed with the tool he had in hands, feeling every indentation in it and trying to keep himself from having a nervous breakdown. "How did you find me..?"

"The letter you sent me." Charles shrugged, although he didn't look much better than Erik there, just disguising it better. 

Erik took a moment to remember what was the letter he was talking about, the memory of him sending one over a year ago to Charles as he felt the need to contact the other man again — he didn't have his old phone anymore with Charles' number, but he still remembered his address. He hadn't told much about where he was in that letter, scared that Moira could end up reading it and managing to get Interpol involved and getting him arrested after he ran away, but he remembered his birth name was there, as well as the fact that he had gone back 'home'. Charles must've put two and two together to know it meant Germany.

"Moira isn't the only one good at detective work, although I'm not as good as her." Charles chuckled, looking around once more, to the jewelry made there. "At least my skills were enough to find you."

"And how's Moira?" something about Charles mentioning her name made him suspicious, but that quickly died down when he saw the look in Charles' eyes.

"She's fine, still with Scotland Yard, although she's considering leaving… She also didn't try to get you when you ran away, you know?"

"My point of her being bad at her job still stands then." the smile that appeared on Charles' lips with those words made Erik stop for a moment. He had forgotten how good it felt to see that smile. "But… Why didn't she?"

"She tried finding leads on you by herself at first, but apparently you're good at hiding. There was nothing on Erik Lehnsherr's name when she looked for it. She decided that you weren't her problem anymore." 

"So she _did_ try to find me."

"Only for a day." Charles waved his hand in such a nonchalant way that Erik couldn't help but smile. "I told her that it wouldn't pay off to hunt for you anyway."

"Very kind of you." Erik crossed his arms, swallowing nervously before he spoke again. "Why didn't you show her the letter?"

"Because the letter was for me, not for her. Besides, you said you left your old job, that you started over."

"And how did you know I wasn't lying?"

Charles stopped at that, looking at Erik for a moment before sighing.

"Because after the morning in my house two years ago you kept telling me the truth. Why would you send me a letter lying then?"

Erik smiled minimally at Charles' words; sweet and good Charles, who seemed willing to let Erik have a second chance in life after everything. Charles, whose eyes still shone like they did two years ago and whose face remained soft, even if there were a few lines already covering it. Erik felt like he had changed more in those few years, his hair with just a bit more length than it used to have before, curling in some places thanks to that, and his face covered with a few age lines and the beard he had let grow. Even so, Charles' eyes looked at him with familiarity. 

"It's good seeing you again." Erik said after a while, face softening. "I didn't think I would get to see you again ever."

"Me too." Charles confessed, looking down at his own lap before speaking again. "But you said years ago in that note that you wished we could have met differently. There's a small café just a few blocks from here that smelled divine when I passed in front of it, so I was thinking I could meet that Max Eisenhardt that I heard about."

Erik looked at him with surprise in his eyes after those words, seeing that Charles wasn't lying. It all felt surreal once again, that Charles was there, inviting him out after all those years — after everything. 

"It's my real name." Erik said quickly, seeing Charles raise his eyes to look at him again at those words. "My birth name." 

Charles watched him for a moment before a smile appeared on his lips, somehow fond of him.

"It's a good name." Charles nodded, biting the inside of his lip for a moment, still slightly nervous. "What do you think, Max?"

Erik smiled, feeling like maybe it could work, maybe that was the different circumstance Erik had been waiting for so long.

"Will you offer me a place to sit if it's crowded?" he asked, his mind going back to the first time he talked to Charles. Apparently the Professor remembered it too, chuckling and smiling a little wider.

"Any time."  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kuddos are more than appreciated and keeps an author's soul alive. Even a "❤️" or "+kuddos" are valid and will make me happy. ❤️
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](http://hellfre.tumblr.com) and [twitter](http://twitter.com/hllfire)!


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